Split Insight (1) - A Pokemon Story

SPLIT INSIGHT

It was a dark and stormy night....
Well, no it actually wasn't. I've just always wanted to start a story that way. It was two-thirty in the afternoon and about ninety-eight degrees in my small hometown of Meldsville. It's kind of a lame place to live; Too many tourists and not nearly enough rain. The townsfolk are pretty cool if you've been a resident all your life. And if you're ever having a sand shortage, we've got enough to go around. Yep, Meldsville is right in the middle of an island. So nobody gets too excited when somebody yells, "Hey, everyone! Let's go to the beach!"
So that's enough about my island.
My sole purpose for writing this is because I want to chronicle the rough week I had to show people that my life isn't really that boring.
Anyways, where was I?
Oh yeah. It was two-thirty, really hot and at the moment my head was being stuffed into a full garbage can that I guess the trash guy had missed from the week before.
"Stuff him in all the way, Machamp!"
The Machamp that was pushing my face into toxic waste belongs to Greg Hackett. He's every big fat jerk and brainless gorilla in the world combined to form one teenager. He's the kind of kid that likes to pretend he's a "bad boy" with his ear stud and his buzzed haircut. His toadies, Daniel, Max and Scottie stood behind him laughing it up like my dilemma was the funniest thing they had ever seen. Machamp adjusted his grip around my ankle and shoved me deeper into the garbage can. Thank goodness I was holding my breath. My entire upper half was now completely submerged in sludge, making breathing impossible. I was really careful to keep my mouth closed. I kicked my free leg and flailed my arms frantically. It was sort of disappointing that I was giving Greg the pleasure of knowing that his stupid Poke'mon was suffocating me. But it got a lot worse after about forty-five seconds when my lungs started to burn. That's when I panicked. I thrashed violently and kicked my free leg backwards as hard as I could, hoping to
bash in some part of Machamp's face.
Thank goodness the forces of the universe decided to be in my favor for just a split second. My foot did hit something. I heard a crunch and Machamp howled in pain.
"CHAAAAAAMP!"
He released my leg and the trash can toppled over. Spilling its contents all over the alleyway concrete and throwing me on my butt. I sucked in precious oxygen and almost hurled as I finally smelled whatever was smeared all over my person. I scrambled to my feet and turned around to face a furious Machamp and an equally unhappy Greg. His friends stood behind him eagerly awaiting the pounding that was about to take place. I've dealt with Greg too many times before, so I'm really not afraid of him or what he does to me. I decided to mess with him a bit so that I could at least die feeling accomplished.
"Thank you, Greg," I said as I pulled a banana peel off of my head and shook slime off of my shirt front, "That was very refreshing."
Greg looked mildly confused, then went back to being angry. "Was that beating not enough for you, shrimp?"
"Technically, it wasn't really a beating. I just got dipped in garbage." I shrugged as if it was no big deal.
Greg looked even more confused. I love challenging his intelligence. I decided to wrap it up on that note.
"Well, it's been fun. I'd love to stay and count your chins, but I've got to head home."   
"Are you calling me porky?"
"I didn't say that."
"You're a dead man." Greg pulled a Poke'ball out of his pocket and held it at arm's length. "Machamp, return!"
A beam of white light shot out of the ball and touched Machamp, who himself became a white light and was sucked back into his Poke'ball.
Oh, what the heck. I decided to antagonize Greg a little more.
"Ah, so you're finally going to beat on somebody smaller than you all by yourself. You've really moved up in society." I grinned at him.
I swear I could see steam coming out of Greg's ears and nostrils as he charged me like an angry Tauros. Right at the last second, I leaped nimbly out of his path and he ran right past me. It took him a few seconds to slow down and turn around. He ran at me as fast as his legs would allow and swung a fist at my head. I ducked under his arm in the nick of time and socked him in right the gut. I heard all of the air leave his lungs in one big, "Oof!" as he doubled over, holding his stomach. I took that opportunity to dash behind him and kick him in the butt.
That did it. Pain or no pain, Greg was back up and on my tail as I took off down the alleyway. I was keeping a pretty good distance between us.
"Get him!"
In my brief moment of glory, I had failed to remember that Greg's morons were still around, and I was running straight at them. It was too late to react. Daniel and Max stopped me by hooking each of my arms in theirs and pile-driving me back into the alley wall. My head hit the bricks hard enough to make white lights pop in front of my eyes.
I don't know who delivered the first blow to my stomach, or the second, or the third, but by the fourth hit, I remembered that I had placed a single Poke'ball in my pocket before leaving my house. I didn't know which, but I hoped that it was something that would help. I managed to wedge my hand into my pocket between the toadies' blows and pull out my only chance of making it out of this mess without a herniated stomach.
"Idon'tknowwhoyouarebut HELP!" Is what I babbled as I threw the Poke'ball into the air. Greg and company actually stopped hitting me long enough to stare at the ball as it opened and spewed out it's contents in the form of a white light.
"Eevee!"
The fuzzy fox-like Poke'mon squeaked happily as it bounced around my legs.
The silence between Greg, Scottie, Daniel, Max and I was almost as painful as them slugging me.
Then Greg roared in laughter and the rest of the guys followed his example.
My face grew red as their laughter echoed loudly off of the alley walls. The stupid Eevee sat on it's haunches, looking up at me expectantly.
I wanted to punt the stupid thing, but I supposed that I could use it to my advantage.  
"Eon, Bite!" I jabbed my finger at Greg and the Eevee took to his assignment immediately. He sank his little teeth into Greg's ankle. Greg screamed like a little girl as he tried to shake it off. His friends just stood aside and stared, mouths agape.  
I took that opportunity to run away as fast as I could, leaving Eon behind. I don't know why I did it, but I just did. I had never really liked that Eevee much. In fact, I hated it.
So I just ran away, forbidding my conscience to push me into turning back and retrieving my Poke'mon.
After about ten minutes of stewing like that, I turned around a street corner and hopped up the front steps to my house - trying to catch my breath and sweating bullets from the humidity of the afternoon. I slid the front screen door aside and walked into the entryway hall.